Rather, Brokaw, Couric, and the Marine

Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw and Katie Couric, along with a Marine Sergeant Major were all captured by terrorists while in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Tom Brokaw said he would just like to hear his wife's voice one more time. The terrorists allowed him to make long distance call so that he could talk to his wife. Brokaw had a long conversation with his wife and when he was through, he said "Now I can die peacefully."

Katie Couric said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end."
The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Couric dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."

The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?" "Kick me in the behind," said the Marine. "What?" asked the leader? "Will you mock us in your last hour?" "No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me," insisted the Marine.

So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him.

The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his Cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the terrorists were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Rather, Brokaw and Couric, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you first?"

"What!" replied the Marine, "And have you three jerks report that I was the aggressor?"